


Heart's in Atrophy

by Punkrockgeek



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Depression, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Romance, Slow Burn, mentions of a previous abusive relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 06:12:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19824193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Punkrockgeek/pseuds/Punkrockgeek
Summary: Anastasia's looking for a new start but the past always seems to catch up to her.





	1. Anastasia

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time publishing any of my writing online so I apologize for any mistakes. This chapter is just mostly set up so I'm sorry if it's boring.

Sitting on the passenger side of a truck, Anastasia looked out the window to see the beautiful countryside she would now see every day, instead of only once a year during the annual vacations she used to enjoy. Ever since her grandfather’s death, she had been hesitant to visit his old farm. Five years had passed since the funeral. A year before he died, however, he had given Anastasia a cryptic letter which she promised not to open until the time was right. Once she finished college and started working at the Joja corporation as a desk jockey, she finally felt the misery that came with being in the real world. She found the time was right and opened the letter where she found the deed to her grandfather’s farm in Pelican town. It didn't take long for her to quit her job and move out of the apartment she shared with her best friend, Jackie, who was currently driving her brother’s truck packed to the brim with Anastasia’s furniture.

“Hey, so what are you going to do on your grandpa’s farm?” Jackie quickly glanced over at Anastasia who seemed to be zoning out. “Like, are you gonna actually farm stuff there? Oh, what if you raise animals, you could be a total cowgirl!” she laughed.

“Dumb-ass!” Anastasia slapped her arm “I never really thought about it, I don't think that the barn and the coops are in good condition anymore. So I don't think it’ll be good to have animals in a shitty barn. I guess I’ll just have to farm until I can afford to fix up the coop first.”

“Invite me over when you get some chicks. They're so cute when they're so tiny!” Jackie pitched her voice higher and made a squishing gesture with her hand, imagining holding a little chick.

Anastasia just laughed at her friend’s excitement. As excited as she was to be moving to the farm, she was more nervous about being alone. 

“You’ll visit me from time to time, right? I’ll let you sleep in my bed if that’s more of an incentive?”

Jackie didn't look over as she was too focused on making sure that none of the furniture went flying out of the truck as she drove on the winding road. Instead, she just smiled and said: “Of course I’ll visit, Ana, don't be stupid.”

* * *

The moment the truck stopped in front of the old abandoned farm, Jackie and Anastasia were greeted by Mayor Lewis and Robin. They were very interested in meeting Jackie and getting to know her. 

“Oh my Yoba, Ana you’ve grown so much and you're so beautiful!” Robin gasped as she watched them get out of the truck.

Anastasia just nervously laughed and hugged Robin “Oh thanks. I think I’ve only grown like three inches, to be honest.” 

She then gave Mayor Lewis a small hug “Sorry for not visiting in a long time”. She put her arm around Jackie and introduced her “This is my best friend from college, her name is Jackie.”

Robin and Mayor Lewis shook Jackie’s hand and, to Anastasia’s embarrassment, started talking about how Anastasia was as a child. After a while, they proceeded to help unload Anastasia’s things from the back of the truck.

“You guys don’t have to help us with these heavy boxes!” Ana protested.

Mayor Lewis just laughed it off, “Nonsense, don't worry! You know, we never would have imagined that you would move into your grandpa’s old farm but nonetheless, we are so happy to have you here with us. Are both of you moving in?”

“No, sadly I actually love my job as a teacher too much to move out here permanently.” Jackie said, “I’m just here to help her bring furniture, but I might come over to visit if Ana ever invites me.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful! Well, we just came over to be the first people greet you. We even brought you some parsnip seeds to get you started!” Robin said “And just to let you know, I can fix up your house if you have the extra money to spare later on,” she winked.

Anastasia just laughed and nodded to Robin’s suggestion. She graciously accepted the small bag full of seeds and continued to make small talk with Robin and Lewis until they had to go back to work. Jackie started moving some furniture into the house while Anastasia carried boxes. Jackie always was the strongest one in their friend group. Just as they finished moving the boxes and furniture into the house, the sun began to set.

“I gotta go Ana, it’s getting late and I have to work tomorrow.” Jackie sighed.

“I know Jackie.” Anastasia hugged her, then watched as Jackie got into the truck. She leaned her arms on the rolled down window and looked at Jackie “You’ll visit me soon right?” 

“Of course, you owe me some nice-ass produce for helping you today, once you get your farm up and running,” Jackie said, rolling her eyes in fake offense.

“Yeah, I know don’t worry. I’ll let you know how my first harvest goes or if anyone single and cute is interested in my lame-ass friend.” Ana said

“You better, because now that I'm single I need a cute, small-town girlfriend,” she laughed. 

The tone in her voice changed suddenly as she worriedly looked into Anastasia’s eyes,“Is he gonna find you here? He doesn’t know where your family lives right?” 

Anastasia’s mouth went dry and her mind started racing “U-uh I don’t think so, I should be fine here. If anything happens, please let Mayor Lewis know, I’ll give you his number. I just...I want to make sure he can’t make me leave by force.” 

Jackie nodded and pulled Ana into a tight hug through the window. After letting go they shared one final goodbye and Anastasia watched as the truck took off and slowly got smaller and smaller in the distance. 

* * *

Back inside, Anastasia finally realized how much interior work had to be done to get the house in working order again. The windows were dirty and grimy, the ceiling was covered in cobwebs, and from what Jackie told her earlier, the plumbing barely worked. Not only that, but the kitchen was a mess and in need of urgent fixing if she was to do any cooking. Ugh, she could have sworn she saw some cockroaches and a couple mice running around. She resigned herself to sleeping on the small couch she brought from her old home, inside a sleeping bag as she didn’t feel like unpacking her sheets. It was only 10 pm, but now that she was going to live the farmer's life, she had to wake up early. Anastasia sighed and remembered the good times she spent in this home with her grandparents. She hoped her childhood friends were still here. Sam, Abigail, Sebastian, Alex, Penny, and... Anastasia squeezed her eyes shut. No, she wouldn’t think about him, no matter how cute he was or how his stupid hair always looked so nicely slicked back after practice or how he’d run up to her after he got off the bus from practice. She wouldn’t think about how they’d spend their afternoons either, in the forest or the Stardrop, sharing a pizza together. Anastasia put her pillow over her face and tried not thinking about how much she liked her childhood best friend, Shane.


	2. Anastasia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to those reading this! Any feedback is appreciated!

The morning wasn’t kind to Anastasia. The bright sun rays hitting her face were a harsh reminder of how different her life would be here than in Zuzu City. In Zuzu City she could have her blinds closed all day, never bothering to open them since she always got home after sunset. Anastasia sat up and stretched her back, loosened her arms, and massaged the crick in her neck. The couch definitely wasn’t comfortable, and she wasn’t ready to sleep in it for another night, so she knew she had to urgently clean up and unpack. Shuffling over to the box where she packed her dry food, she picked out a granola bar and an overly sweet bottled coffee she bought at a supermarket the day before. 

“ _What should I start to do first?”_ She thought to herself _“I could clean up and unpack then venture into town.”_

No. She was terrible at unpacking, it would take her almost half the day and by then, people would be at home relaxing. She couldn’t go bother them so late. 

_“How about I plant the seeds so I can harvest them as soon as possible. Then I can sell the produce and get the money to pay Robin for fixing the house’s carpentry, then unpack everything completely, and say hi to everyone so they can come over to visit my hopefully beautiful and well-maintained farm by then.”_

Yeah, that would work. Then she would look super awesome and responsible if anyone from town happened to visit.

* * *

Anastasia finished up her breakfast and dug through her boxes to find some old ratty jeans and a worn-down flannel to wear. In another box, she looked for the second-hand gardening tools her dad had given her before she left the city. Now she thought she was starting to look like a real farmer. She went outside and started pulling up weeds and breaking away rocks that were in the way of a small plot of tilled dirt. She planted the parsnip seeds that were gifted to her and internally prayed things would finally work out for her. While watering her prospective plants, she looked over to where her grandpa’s shrine was. It had become so overrun by weeds and trees. She would have to take care of that. Anastasia decided that she would have to clear that space out first, in order to leave an offering for the day of the dead which was in a couple of months. 

Back Inside the house, Anastasia started cleaning the windows so that more sun would shine in. She took off the old, dusty curtains and threw them out on the porch. She would have to wash them later alongside all the dirty rags from cleaning up. After a little more work, the living room and kitchen were finally clean enough for Anastasia to start unpacking. She took out some old dishes and cups that her mom had picked out for her and set them up in her cabinets. She put away her baking utensils in a drawer. Hopefully, she could get some baking done once she found someone to fix the oven properly. Her old coworkers had often told her that the pastries she made were delicious, and Jackie’s incurable sweet tooth forced her to make them often.

Anastasia felt guilty. She just left her best friend to live on her own, and right after Jackie’s rough breakup with her ex-girlfriend. Although it had been an unhealthy relationship, Jackie wasn’t completely over it, even though her ex broke up with her a couple of months ago. Jackie was strong though. She knew when to ask for help from others and when she was about to do something stupid. It gave Anastasia a sense of relief knowing that her friend would be safe if anything happened. 

By the time Anastasia finished cleaning the bedroom, the sun had already started setting, and upon checking the time, she was shocked to discover that it was already 7 pm. She quickly stored her sheets and blankets in her closet and decided to go and at least try to see some people at the Stardrop. It was a Friday night, and probably one of their busier days, so hopefully she would be able to meet half the town in one fell swoop.

Outside, Anastasia pulled her sweater even tighter around herself as a chill ran up her spine. She forgot how cold it could get up here, as she only ever experienced the sweltering heat of summertime. The walk to town felt shorter than it did when she was a child. She hoped she would see a lot of familiar faces, or at least hoped they recognized her.

The outside of the Stardrop looked the same as she remembered.

 _“Things really don’t change much up here,_ ” she thought. 

Inside, people were talking and drinking in their seats. Anastasia didn’t want to look around too much and look like a total tourist. 

_“Well growing up you were one.”_

The bartender was the first one to recognize her as she quietly ordered a glass of wine.

“Ana, is that you?”

“Gus! Yes, it’s me.”

“What are you doing here! It’s been so long since we’ve seen you. How long has it been?”

“7 years. It was hard coming to visit the farm after I moved away for college, and the funeral didn’t really motivate me to come see the house.” Anastasia looked down. She didn’t like talking about those years too much.

“Of course...” Gus’ smile got smaller. “We loved your grandpa dearly. He was a wonderful man. Here, let me get your drink, on the house. I hope you come to the saloon often. You should go and have a good time catching up with everyone.” His smile slowly returning.

Anastasia took a glass of wine, leaving a tip so she wouldn’t feel so guilty. Almost immediately, she drank down half the glass.

 _“It’s to calm the nerves,”_ she told herself. 

She recognized Mayor Lewis talking to a woman. As Anastasia got closer she realized it was Marnie, Shane’s aunt. Anastasia really didn’t want to be reminded of that part of her childhood, so she started to turn back before she was seen, but Mayor Lewis called her over, waving her down. 

_“Fuck,”_ she thought as she forced a smile and walked towards their table.

Marnie immediately recognized her. “Anastasia darling, is that you?! Lewis here was telling me how much you changed since we last saw you. You’ve grown up wonderfully my dear!” She pulled her in for a hug, which Anastasia appreciated since it had been so long since they last spoke.

“Heh, yeah I moved into my grandpa's farm now. Taking up the family business I guess,” she laughed awkwardly. It wasn’t that she was trying to be rude, it's just that she wasn’t sure what to say. “I wanted to raise animals but I’m not ready to work on the coop and the barn yet.”

Lewis nudged Marnie’s arm “Robin and I pitched in and gave her some parsnip seeds as a welcoming gift.” He told her.

She gasped, covering her mouth with both hands “Lewis! Why didn’t you tell me! I would have sent Shane and Jas up with some welcoming gifts!” 

Anastasia’s heart skipped a beat. Shane? Like _Shane_ Shane? The Shane she’s had a crush on since they were 8? That Shane? She tried to calm down and not freak out before Marnie and Lewis noticed. 

“Oh, he’s here? Shane I mean, uh does he live here now?” She tried to play it cool but Marnie could see her nervousness.

She gave a small smile and discretely pointed to the corner of the saloon between the fireplace and the bar. Sitting there hunched over was a person holding a beer glass. Anastasia either needed to get her glasses’ prescription changed or get closer to see him clearly. “He’s over there darling. He’s not that social, you know him,” Marnie whispered.

Putting her glass of wine down Anastasia could only muster a small smile and a nod. “Oh, please excuse me.” she pointed to the bathroom, hoping that would be enough of an excuse to get out of the conversation and then later sneak out of the bar without being noticed by Shane or anyone else for that matter.

* * *

The walk to the bathroom felt eternal as she saw people she recognized. Anastasia looked down at the floor hoping no one would stop her or shout her name. She normally would love to catch up with people, but with Shane nearby, she didn't want any more attention. She got to the bathroom and tried calming down before she started getting overworked about the situation at hand.

Just as Anastasia had gotten a hold on her emotions, which seemed to be all over the place today, Marnie walked in. “Oh Ana I’m sorry, I know you and Shane were close, And I know after your grandfather's death it was hard to come back, but since you’ve been gone for a long time I feel like I should let you know some things.”

 _“Oh god,”_ Anastasia thought _“she’s gonna tell me he’s married now, and that girl Jas has something to do with it and I’m gonna be so awkward and I’ll never be able to be normal around him -“_

Marnie cut off her train of thought by saying, “He moved here a couple of years back with his goddaughter and well... he hasn’t been the same since. He’s just so sad lately.” She sighed and looked away “When I realized you were gonna be coming back, I imagined that you would be able to at least talk to him. I just felt like I should let you know he’s changed since your departure. Sorry if it feels like I’m meddling.” 

“Marnie...I feel terrible, I should have kept in contact somehow, maybe then he wouldn’t be so sad.” Anastasia started fiddling with a ring she was wearing. She felt even worse now. There’s no way she could go look him in the eye now.

“Well, it’s not your fault darling, people stop keeping in touch sometimes, that’s just how life is. I’m sure he would appreciate talking to you though. He’s still out there...if you could at least say hi, it would make his night better.” Marnie gave a small smile and lightly squeezed Anastasia’s arm. She let go and exited the bathroom, heading back to her table with Lewis. 

Anastasia stood there, still fidgeting with her ring. _“Should I be an asshole and just leave? Yoba, that would hurt Marnie’s feelings though. What if he doesn’t recognize me? What if he does and he blows up at me for forgetting about our friendship?”_ She thought. Looking up into the mirror, Anastasia sighed and fixed her hair so it wouldn’t be so messy. If she had to go talk to him, at least she shouldn’t look like shit. She hoped she would at least look a little bit recognizable. Marnie recognized her at first glance, but that could have been because Mayor Lewis told her she was coming. Ever since Anastasia moved to Zuzu City and started dating… her ex-boyfriend had caused her to stop taking care of her appearance and encouraged her to let herself go. Only now did she realize it was just a tactic to lower her self esteem so she wouldn’t leave him. Looking in the mirror Anastasia sighed, she looked like shit now.

* * *

Walking out of the bathroom she glanced over at Marnie and gave her a small smile. Anastasia took in a deep breath and walked over to where Shane was sitting. As she got closer she noticed he was wearing, a worn-out blue hoodie and a green polo shirt, probably a Tunnelers shirt. His eyes downcast, not noticing her walking over, and- was that a five o’clock shadow!?!?

 _“Oh Yoba why the five o’clock shadow? You know how much I love that on men!”_ She thought, silently cursing herself.

She finally reached his side, but he didn’t even bother looking up at her. Undeterred, Anastasia gave him the brightest smile she could muster. “Uh, hey Shane! It’s me, Anastasia!” she put her hand out hoping it would make him feel better shaking her hand than immediately going for a hug.

“I don’t know you. Why are you talking to me?” He mumbled never looking up from his beer glass to look at her.

 _“FUCK! WHAT DO I DO NOW?”_ Anastasia screamed inside her head. She never broke her classic ‘customer service’ smile, a skill she mastered from constantly being yelled at her old job at Joja. 

All she could manage to choke out was “Oh, sorry to bother you,” before she turned around and almost made it out of the building before any tears could spill. As she opened the door she looked over to Marnie who stared at her with concern. All Anastasia could manage to do was look away before she burst out crying.

Anastasia practically ran all the way back home and threw herself on her bed. _“I was stupid to think he would remember me. I don’t know why I expected him to?”_

She finally settled into bed, tears drying on her cheeks. Marnie's words about Shane being a different person now rang through her head. 

_“Doesn’t give him the right to be a jackass though.”_ She thought as she fell asleep.


End file.
